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Love is our Resistance
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us

Thegirl

Dominica Rain. California. Mommy of 5 daughters.Tattooed. Hopeless Romantic. Dreamer. Book Worm. Media Whore. Lives For Amazing Music, The Ocean, Art && Love.

And This Is My Life In Words && Photos.


Heartsong

Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake
and dress them in warm clothes again.
How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running
until they forget that they are horses.
It's not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,
it's more like a song on a policeman's radio,
how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days
were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple
to slice into pieces.
Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it's noon, that means
we're inconsolable.
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
Tell me we'll never get used to it.
-Richard Siken


Sweetdesires

Did I hear someone say chocolate!?

Dexter && Weeds
Finding New Artists && Amazing Music Playlists
Rockstars. Energy FTW!
Rainy days in
Coconut M&Ms
Rainy Days in with my daughters


Lovedlist

Meet the people I love♥

My Photography Blog Nicholette Rebecca
Sarah Diona Megan Maggie

Pastmemories

Are you sure you want to turn back the time and read about my past?

November 2010
December 2010
January 2011
February 2011
April 2011
May 2011
July 2011


Monday, February 28, 2011

Last Saturday night, February 20th, one of my best friends, Rachel(weve known each other since HS), called me and invited me out to a party. It was a "white trash theme". I LOVE theme parties and I rarely go out anymore so I was like um, sure why not! She picked me up around 9 and we grabbed some dinner and headed to the party. The party was SO SO much fun, omg I had a blast. I really dont ever go out. I mean, I go out with George on ocassiona, but otherwise, I'm at home 24/7 with the girls. So I was on cloud 9 to be out and having such a great time with great people.



Around 1:30, everyones kind of leaving so we go too. Were on the freeway, singing out hearts out to our jams on the radio. Theres this bend in the freeway here, its kind of like almost a blind bend, you turn but you cant see the other side til your there, kwim?

Anyways, apparently some girl, who WAS drunk, smashed her car into a pole and another car before hitting the center divide. For whatever reason....maybe drunkness? she gets OUT of her car and starts wandering around the freeway, at 2 am, in the dark. A black SUV hits her and ends up flippin in the process. Rachel is driving and as we turn the corner, we literally dont even have a second to register anything, just BAM!!!!!!!!!!!!! we smash into the overturned SUV.

After this, is gets really fuzzy for me. I know(from rachel and the paramedics) that I was knocked unconcious. Its so crazy because I remember hearing Rachel crying hysterically and she kept saying NICA WAKE UP, NICA PLEASE WAKE UP, ARE YOU OKAY? but no matter how hard I tried I couldnt answer. It was soo....weird. I dont know how to explain it. I remember her climbing out of the car and screaming for someone to please help me, that I had kids and someone please get me out of the car. Rachel later said the car was smoking and she was afraid itd blow up.

The police/medics get there and they are trying to get me out of the car but im stuck somehow. This is when I really start to remember coming "back" to the real world. ALL I felt was excruciating pain. Pain like youve never felt in your life. I thought I was dying. Truly. I started crying hysterically and screaming in coherent things and I could not stop thinking about the girls and what would happen to them if I died, how could I do that to them and I kept crying and begging the paramedic to please help me, please. They cutt off all my clothes, my FAVORITE jacket and jeans :( I really dont remember anything after this. I was sedated twice, and the last thing I remember is waking up in a hospital bed and Rachel was sitting next to holding my hand and crying and saying how sorry she was. Even though is was very obvious it wasnt her fault, she is SO guilt ridden, which is absolutely insane.

The conclusion? 2 fractures in my right foot. My left hand is broken. My left hip is broken. I have a bruised left lung and there was a little bleeding in my brain, which is why I was in the ICU. I finally got moved to a "regular" floor room. The hip is the biggest issue right now. I wish I could explain how horrific it hurts, but I cant put it into words. I spent the first 12 hours crying and screaming hysterically in pain. I was given every drug you can think of, vicodin, valium, perocet, oxy. I started physically therapy, which iss so hard. Like, learning to walk all over again. I cant even go to the bathroom by myself. Its so mebarassing. I had to have nurses come in and physically turn me over so I dont get bed sores. I just....I cant believe any of this. I truly cant. Im broken. And I am trying so hard to stay strong you guys, but it hurts so much sometimes that I dont know how I can do this.

Matt has been an angel. I know hes been so so so worried about me.  He called me everyday && sent flowers,  just to check in. It means so much, to have someone care about me like that. So surreal. Chante, of all people, has REALLY come to my aid. As most of you know, we dont get along, never have. My family all found out about my accident before i even woke up the next day and could process everything. Chante was the first at my bedside and came by everyday. So many friends have shown so much support and love this past week. Its...amazing. I am so blessed. So fucking blessed and thankful for everything and one in my life. This experience, it has truly changed me. I know thats cliche, but its so true. I just think about the what ifs, and I know I had a guardian angel with me that night, as did Rachel. My faith and love in God is what saved me and I know those of you who arent religious are rolling your eyes, an trust me, Ive been that same way. But I know this, in my heart and soul.

Oh, and this what Rachels car looks like now. So scary to see. So scary.




I am finally at home now and taking it a day at a time. Its so hard, I'm not going to lie. The hardest thing I think Ive ever done. But I have so much to be thankful and positive for and so much to keep me going. It has really put alot of things into perspective for me in regards to my life, my relationships with people, my dreams. Life is short and I wont ever, ever take that for granted again.

Next, my weekend with Matt <3
Stay tuned.... haha :)

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