Monday, November 29, 2010
The Christmas spirit is in full effect. The Christmas tree lots have begun to set up, my neighbors have started hanging Christmas lights and decorations, the radio stations are playing Christmas music and my family is emailing me about Christmas lists and presents and plans. I would be lying if I said that I am totally ready && prepared. Christmas has snuck up on me this year, for sure.
I cannot believe how fast this past year has flown by and in just a short time, it will already be a new year. So much has changed for me. I have spent the past year picking up the peices of my life and trying to figure out how to put them back together. It has been the hardest road I've ever been down and there are still days when I question everything that I'm doing, if every decision I'm making is the right one and if its for the right reasons. There are still days every now and then when I look back and miss how easy and complete things were. But I have also learned so much about myself, my TRUE self. I have realized my strength as a person and that nothing can break me. I have learned about indepedence and struggling to make ends meet, about the importance of not settling for less, no matter how sunny and clear and easy that path may seem.
This year, I have lost friends, watched as old friendships grew stronger and made new, healthier friendships. I have learned the true importance of family and who truly has supported me when I was a total, utter mess. I am a much more positive, optimistic person. I am a better daughter, a better friend, a better mother, a better person. I have grown in so many ways and as tough as this past year has been, I am also extremely grateful for everything thats happened, because it has allowed me to slowly blossom into the person I am today, to be able to recognize my strengths and weaknesses and learn from them.
I have so much hope for 2011. So many goals and plans and things to look forward too. I have never had more motivation and determination to make any year, MY year, and nothing can break my stride. A year of learning new things I never took the time before to learn, cherishing every moment spent with my daughters, finding my place in this crazy crazy world, going back to school and doing something with my life, healing past wounds in a healthy && positive way, traveling to places Ive always wanted to see, taking the reigns on this photography thing and seeing where it takes me, making new friendships and if I'm lucky, maybe even find my prince. 2011 is my year to truly find myself and I cannot wait.
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and
company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
Labels: 2011, new year, strength
♥our lips must always be sealed
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