Dominica Rain. California. Mommy of 5 daughters.Tattooed. Hopeless Romantic. Dreamer. Book Worm. Media Whore. Lives For Amazing Music, The Ocean, Art && Love.
And This Is My Life In Words && Photos.
Tell me about the dream where we pull the bodies out of the lake
and dress them in warm clothes again.
How it was late, and no one could sleep, the horses running
until they forget that they are horses.
It's not like a tree where the roots have to end somewhere,
it's more like a song on a policeman's radio,
how we rolled up the carpet so we could dance, and the days
were bright red, and every time we kissed there was another apple
to slice into pieces.
Look at the light through the windowpane. That means it's noon, that means
Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us.
These, our bodies, possessed by light.
Tell me we'll never get used to it. -Richard Siken
Did I hear someone say chocolate!?
Dexter && Weeds
Finding New Artists && Amazing Music Playlists
Rockstars. Energy FTW!
Rainy days in
Rainy Days in with my daughters
6 years ago today, Stormie Marie Bridget was born at 5:46pm. She weighed 7lbs, 8 ozs and was the most beautiful thing I had ever laid eyes on.
I feel like it was just yesterday she was a squishy newborn baby, and now shes a 1st grader!! Time flies by so fast.
So happy birthday to one of the most beautiful, sweet, loving, outgoing little girls I have ever met(and the only one of my daughters that looks excatly like me!). I am so blessed to have such an amazing daughter!!
The Christmas spirit is in full effect. The Christmas tree lots have begun to set up, my neighbors have started hanging Christmas lights and decorations, the radio stations are playing Christmas music and my family is emailing me about Christmas lists and presents and plans. I would be lying if I said that I am totally ready && prepared. Christmas has snuck up on me this year, for sure.
I cannot believe how fast this past year has flown by and in just a short time, it will already be a new year. So much has changed for me. I have spent the past year picking up the peices of my life and trying to figure out how to put them back together. It has been the hardest road I've ever been down and there are still days when I question everything that I'm doing, if every decision I'm making is the right one and if its for the right reasons. There are still days every now and then when I look back and miss how easy and complete things were. But I have also learned so much about myself, my TRUE self. I have realized my strength as a person and that nothing can break me. I have learned about indepedence and struggling to make ends meet, about the importance of not settling for less, no matter how sunny and clear and easy that path may seem.
This year, I have lost friends, watched as old friendships grew stronger and made new, healthier friendships. I have learned the true importance of family and who truly has supported me when I was a total, utter mess. I am a much more positive, optimistic person. I am a better daughter, a better friend, a better mother, a better person. I have grown in so many ways and as tough as this past year has been, I am also extremely grateful for everything thats happened, because it has allowed me to slowly blossom into the person I am today, to be able to recognize my strengths and weaknesses and learn from them.
I have so much hope for 2011. So many goals and plans and things to look forward too. I have never had more motivation and determination to make any year, MY year, and nothing can break my stride. A year of learning new things I never took the time before to learn, cherishing every moment spent with my daughters, finding my place in this crazy crazy world, going back to school and doing something with my life, healing past wounds in a healthy && positive way, traveling to places Ive always wanted to see, taking the reigns on this photography thing and seeing where it takes me, making new friendships and if I'm lucky, maybe even find my prince. 2011 is my year to truly find myself and I cannot wait.
After a while you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul,
And you learn that love doesn't mean leaning and
company doesn't mean security,
And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts
and presents aren't promises,
And you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and your eyes open,
with the grace of an adult, not the grief of a child,
And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans.
After a while you learn that even sunshine burns
if you get too much.
So plant your own garden and decorate your own soul,
instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
And you learn that you really can endure...
That you really are strong,
And you really do have worth.
Since today is a day where everyone is supposed to give thanks, here is my short but incredibly sweet list.
I am thankful for my family, who as dysfunctional and crazy as they are, are always there for me and supporting me through everything. I am thankful for my incredibly beautiful daughters, who have truly given my life a purpose. I am thankful for my health and to be alive every day. I am thankful for all of my amazing friends who I love so much and have stood by me through the good, the bad and the crazy. I am SO thankful for fate and it allowing me to meet one of the most amazing people ever, Matt, who has shown me that there is hope out there <3 I am thankful for my beautiful new kitten, Kingston, who is just the most adorable and cuddly little guy in the world. I am thankful for having the strength to get through the hardest times with my head held high and a smile on my face.
But most of all, I am thankful for all the amazing things to come. So, I hope everyone has a magical thanksgiving, and I am going to go stuff my face and pray I dont add 15lbs!!
Miss Mayson Rose is officially 19 months old now. She is the most amazing little girl, I have no idea how I am so blessed. She is constantly wearing a smiling and laughing, truly the happiest baby I've ever met. She talks a mile a minute and loves to sing(we constanly play patty-cake, the itsy bitsy spider and wheels on the bus through-out the day). She LOVES to dance. I'm constantly catching her dancing her cute butt away, even when there isnt music playing. Its the most adorable thing I've ever seen.
I am the luckiest mom in the world, that is for sure.
As a little girl, there was nothing I adored more than bedtime every night and my grandma reading me books about magic and love and frogs and princesses. You could always catch me outside, dressed up in some frilly princess dress, surrounded by dolls and make believe friends, on a never ending search for my frog prince. I could not wait to grow up and fall in love and live happily ever after, just like Belle & Jasmine.
Now I can see that fairytales are about more than just romance & falling in love[all those these are key ingredients in the making of a good fairytale]. It allows my mind and imagination to run free. Fairytales taught me about strength, about patience and compassion, about hope and about faith. They allowed me to dream and imagine. To have courage even in the most hopeless situations. The true magic behind a fairytale is that it only exsists if you don't stop dreaming.
Be magical. Be inspired. Be inspiring. Be ambitious. Be bold. Be excited. Be beautiful. Be honest. Be charming. Be impressed. Be impressive. Be sweet. Be kind. Be courteous. Be gentle. Be awesome.
Believe in magic. Believe in love. Believe in unicorns. Believe in fairy dust. Believe in second chances. Believe in fate. Believe in yourself.
Recently, someone reached out for my hand in a friendship, when I was least
expecting it. It was much to my surprise mainly because we have had a rocky
relationship the past few years, due to a lack of communication between us
as well as her dating my ex and that being an all-time recipe for disaster.
This has brought a flood of past emotions and memories of a young, naive version of myself. A person I have fought for years to never become again. It is so easy to consume yourself in someone else and everything around you that you lose aspects of your identity; the things you used to love, passions and goals and dreams in a relationship. I finally feel I am at a point in my life where I can safely open up and look back on past regrets and mistakes and really take something useful away from it. I am a true believer of "you live & you learn".
I will never again be the girl to allow someone to be my priority while only being their option. I will never again allow my self respect and self worth to be stolen from me. I will never again allow someone to overshadow me, to be my voice, to control my thoughts/feelings/opinions. I will never again allow someone to change me into the person they want me to be, rather than accepting me for who I already am. I will never again settle for less than what I, now, know I am worth.
I am proud to look back and be able to be truly happy and comfortable in my own skin. It has not been an easy road, but it was a road that has made me the person I am today. Strong, beautiful, honest, independent, and most of all hopeful.
And that is something no one can ever take away from me again.